Come Sale Away Aftermath: The BULLSHIT Edition
by WildKirbyAtrox
Summary: Just some dumb stupid parody AU sequel fic I decided to write because I was bored as all frig. Make of this dumb story what you will.


In the empty Living Room of the Loud House, nearly everyone of this family can be seen laying on the ground. They have facial expressions that would definitely tell anyone that they've suffered a bizarre, uncomfortable and horrible fate. Lily appears to be unharmed, but she's visibly traumatized. She sucks on her pacifier frantically while also hugging her own knees (as well as gently rocking back and forth a little). Eventually, Lucy slowly rises off the ground as she turns to face the readers/viewers. Although her eyes cannot be seen, it's no secret that the young goth is in a lot of pain in some way.

"Sigh. You're all probably wondering what happened to us, and why our belongings went missing right?" she asks. Well, this all took place after my siblings and I competed with each other on who could sell the most stuff in our own yard sale. We ended up thinking that we sold Lily's blanket by accident and we ran around the entire town looking for it."

Lucy takes a deep breath through her nose as she walks to the stairs and sits there.

"After thinking we found Lily's blanket, we went home with our own lavender cloth or blankets. Yes. I said cloth because it turns out we never actually sold the blanket to anyone at all... It was just in the wash, and Mom gave it back to her. I guess you guys can already guess who "supposedly bought the blanket" from us or something..."

The young goth stops speaking for a moment to look at her youngest sibling, who's still in a traumatized state. She then hangs her head in shame before resuming her dialogue... But not without a "Sigh" of course.

"I should have said something to my family before we ended up doing our little victory dances. Instead, I too got caught up in trying to one-up my siblings on who can do the best victory dance... When really, all we did was just shake our butts like a bunch of philistines."

Lucy shakes her head in disbelief and some form of disgust.

"But if you ask me, it's not exactly the "butt-shaking" that's got us into this mess. So without delaying the main point any more than I already have, we're gonna have to do some back-tracking..."

-Flashback-

About a few months ago in the Royal Woods Elementary School, Lucy and the members of the Morticians Club were in an unused 'classroom' for their club meeting. Haiku stood in front of the club members and gave out her announcement.

"Members of the Morticians Club," Haiku started. "Although we usually don't bring in new members to our club, this new one was quite a peculiar fellow. Let us welcome our newest member of the Morticians Club."

The door opened up, and a goth-looking young boy who appeared to be eleven or twelve-years-old walked into the club. His attire was no different than the other goth kids, but he kept a bit of a straight face with moderately wide eyes too. He stood next to Haiku and also faced the other club members.

"Whether he'll make a great addition to our club is up to you," Haiku said. "Behold, "Amadeus."

Suddenly, Amadeus- the newest member of the Morticians Club- put on a weird goofy grin while he laughed in a chortle-ish sort of way.

"Hohohohohohoho! What's up, you FAT-ASSES!? OH look at all you stupid Jack Skellington rip-offs!"

The way this newcomer spoke out and behaved took everyone by surprise, as they were disgusted by how Amadeus acted. One of the members slowly (and awkwardly) approached Amadeus and attempted to greet him.

"Um, i-it's nice to meet you," he said to the bizarre newcomer, which caused Amadeus to look at the male club member and then talked at him.

"YOU TALKIN' TO ME, JACK BLACK?! With your dang 'ol Dracula-Hair on your plumpy head! I got two velociraptors snarlin' at me not to fondle your dumb 'ol fat! Ohohohohohoho!"

Amadeus then turned his attention to another Morticians Club member and talked at her too... The one who held the purple umbrella.

"Why do you even need an umbrella when there's no water hitting your dumb-dumb head? What do you even use it for? Hohohohohoho!"

"Well, I actually," was all the girl could say to Amadeus because he interrupted her.

"Shut your mouth you damn dirty ape! You talk like my Granny-Mammy who had a belly-button too damn nasty for my big-bad-daddy!"

"Sigh!" Lucy finally said with a very annoyed expression. "Do we seriously need to deal with someone like HIM?"

Amadeus went STRAIGHT to Lucy in a bit of a menacing way.

"You talkin' to me CHARLIE BROWN?!" he said to her mockingly. He then spotted Lucy's poem book, which he quickly snatched from her grip and started to flip through the pages a bit. "GIMME DAT!"

"Hey!" the young goth 'yelled.'

"Well take me back to 1954 of Japan, bring me a film set, and call me Ishiro Honda!" Amadeus spoke after he skimmed through the pages. "You wrote the saddest piles of stories I've ever seen in my life!"

"What is your problem?" Lucy replied defensively.

"SHUT UP! You ever shove a bunch of hairless monkeys up a hippopotamus butt!? When it's pooing all over the place?! Hohohohoho! I'll shave you bald, strip you naked, and throw you in there myself!"

As the insanity took place, Haiku just stood there and did a facepalm of disgust and displeasure. She also sighed as she felt somewhat guilty for bringing in such a weird kid.

"I can drag him out of the club, Haiku," a tall boy in white clothes said to her. "I can tell this isn't want you intended, is it?"

Amadeus heard this and started to shout at the two.

"DON'T YOU COME NEAR ME NOW!"

"Ugh, get him out of here!" Lucy said to Haiku.

"DON'T YOU COME NEAR ME NOW," Amadeus shouted again.

At this point, nobody in the Morticians Club was going to take any of this twisted nonsense any further. They all gathered together and forcefully pushed Amadeus out of the Club by having him shoved out of their room. The door was slammed shut immediately afterward.

-End of Flashback-

"Sigh. In the end, Haiku never really meant to cause chaos for us," Lucy says as she finishes the 'flashback.' "We're not really sure what made her want to invite Amadeus in the first place, but we agreed to never talk about him or bring him back again. Unfortunately, we did not see the last of him. Because we've seen him a few times making inappropriate movements upon various stuff around the schoolyard. Sometimes Haiku and I would even see him doing those 'things' outside of our school too."

Lucy takes a deep breath before continuing on.

"So what does Amadeus have to do with what happened to my family?" Lucy asks as though the viewers/readers could potentially ask her that question. "Here's what happened..."

-Another Flashback-

"Well," Lincoln started as he spoke to the viewers/readers. "As they say, the nuts don't fall too far from the tree."

And thus, he continued on with his victory dance- which was nothing but shameless twerking and/or butt-shaking.

"Ooh! Uh-hmm! Hmm-hmm! Go Lincoln! Go Lincoln!"

As both the siblings and the parents did their own victory dances, Lucy immediately stopped after hearing some knocking on the door.

"Oh no," she said to herself. "What have I done?"

It was too late at this point because Amadeus literally broke the door and barged his way into the Loud House. This sudden act caught everyone's attention as they stopped doing their victory poses.

"What the?" Lola said. "Who the heck are you!?"

"OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!" Amadeus laughed. "I SEE YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS! OHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"Uhh... Wednesday?" Lana replied questioningly.

"YEP!" the creepy not-goth said. "AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! OHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

There's a brief silence since nobody knew what Amadeus was intending to do... nobody except Lucy.

"Everyone," Lucy started, but her words got ignored as the rest of the Louds resumed their victory dances.

"Dancin' like that on a Wednesday means it's HUMP-DAY!" Amadeus shouted as he proceeded to grab as many Louds as possible (except Lily because Amadeus spared her for being a baby) and literally began to hump them individually or almost all at once. This uncanny ability Amadeus has allowed him to pull this off as he continuously humped one Loud after another (again, except for Lily), as he took everyone by surprise and humped them nonstop. He didn't even have to pull their pants down or whatever to do that. Lily just sat there and watched the horrific harassment took place in her own home as she was helpless and traumatized. The youngest Loud aside, everyone else screamed in pain, horror, and shock as this inexplicable and crazy event unfolded...

"OHOHOHOHOHOHO! TWERKING FOR ME ON A HUMP-DAY RULES! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

What was shocking was that Amadeus is literally around Lincoln's age, yet he's actually strong enough to fight the Loud family's resistance against his forceful harassment. Even Rita and Lynn Sr. got roped into the assault by this abnormally strong and warped not-goth kid and his strange uncanny obsession with humping things and/or other people- including the fact that he somehow managed to find Lucy and her family too. The imagery of this scene was so bad, Lucy managed to escape the sexual assault and she called the police to put an end to this fiasco.

-End of Flashback-

"The police arrived and took Amadeus away," Lucy finally says to the readers/viewers. "I knew what to expect, so I didn't really suffer as much as everyone else... Sigh."

She looks at her family as they seemingly refuse to get up from the carpeted floor.

"I can tell that after everyone gets up, they're going to interrogate me with questions... And I mean a LOT of them."

Lucy shakes her head and then gets into a bit of a fetal position.

"I knew that twisted kid beforehand, yet I should have said something about him... I can already sense the interrogation coming my way..."

END.

* * *

 **So there you have it. A dumb, stupid, parody, shit-tastic fanfiction that's a sequel fic to the season 1 episode "Come Sale Away." Most of the bulk written for this story is based on (and inspired by) a lesser-known YouTube series that revolves around some monster toys or something. Make of this stupid parody fic what you will. Ciao.**


End file.
